dinsdag 30 maart 2010

Dictionary For Women

  • Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realized it yet.
  • Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
  • Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the dinner."
  • Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
  • Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n Gotta get married in a church.
  • Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
  • Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
  • Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
  • Exercise (ex*er*siz) v To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
  • Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend an hour writing, then forget to take to the store.
  • Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
  • Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
  • Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
  • Lipstick (lip*stik) n On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
  • Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
  • Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
  • Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
  • Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.


Welkom op mijn nieuwe weblog. Ik heb moeite met leuke tekstjes schrijven, heb een hekel aan sporten, ben creatief op knutselgebied wanneer ik daar tijd voor kan vinden (druk druk druk.....), hou van culturele vakanties naar interessante steden, maar vind het vooral leuk om mijn belevenissen en hobbies met anderen te delen. Nog leuker vind ik het om grappige plaatjes, tekstjes en filmpjes te delen. Die zullen daarom het grootste deel van deze weblog gaan beslaan.
Tot snel!